By Kelly Hagen
I’m a humor columnist, which is shorthand for “I can’t tell a competent story to save my life, so … fart.” Anyway, in an effort to counteract the fact that I really don’t have 450-600 words worth of a story to tell any of you this month, I’m trying out a new format. It’s like, if I was editor of a daily newspaper, and I knew I didn’t like a page out of yesterday’s newspaper, but I didn’t know how to put a newspaper together myself, so I just took a scissors and cut out the parts that aren’t awful, then rearranged them and glued them back together into a weird collage, like I was an overpaid second-grader.
By Amber Rae
Once upon a time I found myself in beautiful Jackson Hole for 14 hours and decided to take a 2 a.m. stroll through the warm, moonlit woods in my bathrobe, like you do.
Charlie Barber, Mandan
Reprinted by permission of the author and the High Plains Reader
By Charlie Barber
Amillion people spread out over this state [North Dakota] is not going to seem very populated.”
– Harold Hamm, Chairman and CEO of Continental Resources
“We kind of feel like we’re drinking out of a fire hose right now.”
– Ward Koeser, Mayor, Williston, ND
“The genuine man of action is not intent on renovating the world, but on possessing it.”
– Eric Hoffer
“Our frustration is greater when we have much and want more than when we have nothing and want some.”
– Eric Hoffer
“History is made by juveniles.”
– Frederick Gentles
Posted in Charlie Barber, Columnists, Development, Land, Opinion, Politics
Tagged bad, Bakken, Bismarck, Bloomberg, business, Charlie Barber, column, delusion, democrat, development, Eric Hoffer, evil, fact, Fantasia, fiction, Future, Gas, goodness, health, High Plains Reader, history, important, Keystone XL, labor, land, local, Mandan, Mickey Mouse, natural, Oil, oil genie, Oil Sorcerer, Opinion, Pipeline, politics, republican, resources, right, Tar Sands, These Two Pipelines, Troll Wizard, voting, wellness, world, wrong
By Betty Mills
On a list of issues concerned with the lives of women, the American Association of University Women analyzed critical votes by members of the U. S. House of Representatives and the U. S. Senate in the first session (2011) of the 112th Congress. The legislation included campus safety, education, jobs (women make up 76 % of the teaching profession), the paycheck fairness act, reproductive health, and several bills concerned with the budget.
Posted in Betty Mills, Columnists, Politics
Tagged AAUW, American Association of University Women, anti-woman, Betty Mills, college, column, Hoeven Berg, House, Pell grants, Representatives, republican, students, voting record, women's rights
By Kelly Hagan
What follows is the epic tale of 30-some days of facial hair.
Charlie Barber, Mandan
By Charlie Barber. Reprinted by permission of the author and the High Plains Reader.
“I don’t know what we’re standing in the way of. This is a full-blown boom. Instead of sending $1 billion a day to buy oil from the Mideast, we can send it to the Midwest of our own country.”
– Senator Kent Conrad, D-N.D.,
Bismarck Tribune, 4/4/12
“Some of the wise monkeys in North Dakota’s Oil Patch (“see no evil,” “hear no evil,” “speak no evil” of Japanese folklore) would like the state’s news media to censor the news coming out of oil country. Maybe “censor” is too strong a word. They want news manipulated to emphasize the positive (there is plenty of it) and downplay the negative (there is plenty of that, too.)”
– Fargo Forum, 4/13/12
“The simple truth is that the long-term viability of all UND athletics is at risk [if the ‘Fighting Sioux’ nickname is kept].”
– Rick Burgum, UND Alumni
Association, Bismarck Tribune, 5/2/12
“…where ignorance is bliss, ‘Tis folly to be wise.”
– Thomas Gray
Posted in Charlie Barber, Land, Opinion, Politics
Tagged Bismarck, Charlie Barber, column, Economy, environment, Future, Gas, High Plains Reader, Mandan, money, North Dakota, Oil, Pipeline
By now the red flags should be flying on the horizons of women everywhere who thought the battle for fair treatment was pretty much won. In case the potential of the trouble looming has not registered in their busy lives, let me remind them of the way it once was.
By Kelly Hagan
I know that the first column I can recall writing for the Prairie Independent, I wrote about how I was a stay-at-home dad, and how great that was. What I neglected to mention since then is that I went back to work. Sorry, had to be done.
Approval of the proposed Keystone XL would help protect western North Dakota’s infrastructure and create thousands of jobs, Sen. John Hoeven, R-N.D., said Wednesday.”
– Bismarck Tribune, 1/12/12
“Hopes for the Keystone pipeline to provide a meaningful outlet for Bakken oil are unrealistic and misguided.”
– A.L. “Bud” Johnson – CIA Oil and Gas Analyst
“Colorado company proposes oil pipeline in N.D.”
– Bismarck Tribune, 2/17/12
Posted in Charlie Barber, Columnists, Community, Current Affairs, Opinion, Politics
Tagged Bakken, Bakken Oil Field, Bismarck, Charlie Barber, citizen, Colorado Company, column, commerce, corporate, deceit, degredation, democrat, Economy, environment, Fargo, Future, Gas, Hoeven, infrastructure, jobs, Kent Conrad, Keystone, Keystone XL, Letter to the Editor, local, Mandan, Minot, misguided, Morton County, North Dakota, Obama, Oil, Oil and Gas, oil genie, Opinion, Pipeline, play, politics, Prairie Independent, president, republican, Rick Berg, Trans-Canada
By Karen Van Fossan
Here I sit on the east-bound Empire Builder, next to a scowling woman whose duffel bag is enjoying an angry portion of my foot space. She pretended to be asleep across two entire seats – hers and potentially mine – before I politely exclaimed, “Excuse me,” and claimed one of the only available seats in this crowded train car. I could have chosen a place by any number of groggy men; I could have awakened other disingenuous female sleepers. But this one I chose simply because her face wasn’t hidden behind one of those popular blankets with the tassels tied together. Continue reading
Posted in Columnists, Karen Van Fossan
Tagged Amtrak, column, flatbread, food, GRE, Karen Van Fossan, lefse, Norwegian, potatoes, prose-poetry